Need a place to sleep? Come see me

It's Monday at 7pm. A young guy comes up to the bar with a woman. I've seen him before with his fiancé and it's not this woman. The first words out of his mouth are,

"Wow you're tall. What are you 5'11"?"

"Six feet."

"Whoa. I bet you can't find any guys tall enough to date."

I'm tempted to tell him it's a good thing I like short women.

I get them drinks. Besides being obnoxious he seems sober. Ten minutes later he's trying to make out with the woman he came with. Fifteen minutes later he's asleep at the bar. He must be on something. I tell him,

"You need to pay and leave."

He starts counting out money one dollar at a time. The woman he's with turns to me,

"Why are you kicking him out?"

Seriously?

"He was asleep."

"He's really tired."

Well then that's what beds are for.

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