Let's go back to the 30% of the time when you claim you're normal

The 75-year-old regular who introduced me to the term "enhanced panties," declares,

"I've done the math, 30% percent of my day is devoted to work or something like that and 70% is devoted to chasing women."

"That sounds exhausting."

He starts laughing and pounding the bar.

"I love you."

I smile at him. He raises his voice and demands a response.

"I LOVE YOU."

"That's nice."

"We have something special don't we?"

Not that I know of.

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