Nice to meet you, I got you a clean diaper

I'm going to San Diego to visit a newborn, a one-year-old and a couple thirty-somethings. I think about what to take them. I'd just take a lot of alcohol but that whole carry-on liquid restriction is a bitch. You can only fit so many nips in a Ziploc baggie.

I head to the toy store instead. I know what I would want if I were one, but what would I want if I were three weeks old? Plus how long is this kid gonna be three weeks old for? Not long. I should probably just get him a cell phone. A hybrid dinosaur pacifier catches my eye. If that's not a guaranteed good time I don't know what is.

Don't tell him, it's a surprise.

The whole family will love this, am I right?

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